


Shattered At The Alter (of Dean Winchester)

by notspicy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12.9 coda, 14.12 coda, Canon Divergence, Coda, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Domestic Fluff, Ficlet Collection, HAPPY MARRIAGE DEAN AND CAS, Love Spell, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Not Actually Unrequited Love, all my homies hate the finale, fuck the finale, one shots, wedding fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notspicy/pseuds/notspicy
Summary: Ch.1: 12x9 coda; Dean and Cas talk after Cas kills Billie- Dean uses real words and Cas is piningCh.2: 14x12 coda; Dean and Cas talk about Michael, Cas offers to watch over DeanCh.3: Sitting in the front seat of the impala = akin to a marriage proposal !!?Ch.4: Cas asking Sam for Dean’s hand in marriage 🖐😳Ch.5: Love potion fluff oofCh.6: Mary experiences DeanCas domesticityCh.7: S16: Time for a wedding!!A place for a whole bunch of the one shots I've written.... getting out my post-finishing-the-series feelings. I'll update whenever <3
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak
Comments: 7
Kudos: 43





	1. 12 x 9 Coda (First Blood)

**Author's Note:**

> 12 x 9 "First Blood" coda, takes place after the events of the episode, but like probably before Mary meets up with Mick lol  
> Enjoy!

"Dean would you please-"

  
"No, Cas I won't." Dean says, resolutely. He punctuates it by setting down his drink. "I get it: you're mad. What I did was stupid but it was the only card I had to play."  
Cas can't argue with that, but thats _not_ what he's upset about.

  
"Sam and I were in a hell of a jam, and- and _thank you,_ seriously, for helping us out, but now we gotta worry about the big picture: Lucifer's kid and baby mama are still out there, and who knows whats going to come after us now that you killed-"

  
"Why didn't you pray to me?" Cas finally asks, feeling nauseous just thinking about it. Six- almost seven weeks they were gone and not a word from him. He thought Dean was _dead._

 _And he would be, if it weren't for me._

  
Dean stares at him, his mouth half open and eyes glassy with shame.

  
"You prayed to me in purgatory, you pray to me to come get _dinner_ , you prayed to me even when Naomi- you, what were you _thinking?_ " He isn't sure where this _anger_ is coming from- he isn't angry with Dean. He's hurt. He missed him more than he has words for.

  
Dean looks down at his hands, wringing them together. "I- I couldn't. Cas."

  
Cas almost- almost slams his hand against the table, restraining himself at the last minuet- right before impact. If he didn't he's sure he would've broken it in half.  
Dean watches him, and braces himself for the impact that never comes.

  
"I couldn't- what would I have asked of you? It was better knowing you weren't going to get yourself killed than-"

  
"So, what? You let me think you were dead somewhere? Or worse?" Cas can feel his anger simmering, just below tipping point. Dean looks at him cautiously.

  
"Cas," He mumbles. "Just-" Dean pours himself another glass. He sighs, and his shoulders slump in defeat. Theres something he won't say. "Now you know how I feel when you won't answer your damn phone."

  
Cas looks at him, dumb struck. He loves him so much, but sometimes he would give anything to strangle him. Just a little- so he would get it. He finally takes the chair opposite Dean, and takes the glass thats been sitting there, filled. He sees Dean's smile out of the corner of his eye.

  
"It would have been you, wouldn't it?" Cas asks. His voice is heavier than he wants it to be. He just so- he doesn't even know. He wants Dean alive; alive and well and _his_ to watch over. He wants Dean to keep himself alive.

  
"Cas-" Dean looks over at him, and then downs the last of his drink. "Yes. And you know it."

  
"I... Sometimes I wish I didn't know you so well." Cas rests his head in his hands, and gets a chuckle out of Dean. "As soon as Billie said it I- I just knew. There was no other way I was getting you out of there alive."

  
Dean breathes in, then reaches tentatively for Cas's shoulder. "Seriously- _thank you_. I owe you one."

  
Cas almost laughs. "I think it makes up for the couple times I've tried to kill you."

  
"Yeah, huh. How many we at?" Dean chuckles.

  
“4. I believe.” Cas does smile at that, and hides it behind his hand. Its so hard to stay mad at Dean, for as much as he wants to.

  
“Yeah, well. Makes up for it. Clean slate.”

Cas tilts his glass to that, in a quiet toast.

  
They’re quiet, for a moment. The silence is companionable and still.

  
Cas likes sitting in Dean’s presence. Likes feeling what (little left) of his grace can detect of his soul. Their bond. Over the years its faded to periphery, and faded as Cas has lost himself, but he knows; from the tightness in his chest, the longing he feels more acutely than anything other: it is there.

  
“I, uh. I couldn’t pray to you not cause I wasn’t thinking about you. I was. A lot.”

  
Cas’ breath hitches, but he remains composed. Lets Dean talk if he’s finally going to.

  
“I couldn’t pray cause it felt like hell. Worse than hell. At least in hell I wasn’t alone.”

  
Dean’s voice is quiet, like a confessional. Cas remains still.

  
“I wasn’t thinking right. I’m sorry.”

  
It is then, Cas’s heart breaks. And it will break and break again, for Dean. But every time it hurts all just the same.

  
“I- I knew you weren’t dead.” Cas finally confesses. “Your.... longing. Helped keep me going, keep me looking.”

  
Dean breathes a heavy sigh, and leans back into his chair. His eyes are closed, and his face is pitched up to the sky.

  
Cas watches, trails his eyes down the well worn path of freckles.

  
He loves him. So much.

  
He only wishes Dean knew.

  
“Would you- would you like another drink?” Cas asks, slowly. He can feel Dean working through his thoughts, painfully separating something from himself. Packing it away.

“Yeah. Thanks, Cas.”

  
Cas pours him the drink, and lets the night fade away between them.


	2. 14. 12 Coda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas talk about Michael after Dean gives up on the Ma'lak box idea. Cas offers to watch over Dean for the first time since Purgatory.

"Dean- Dean," Cas grabs his shoulder. Sam's already off to bed, after falling asleep in the car. His emotional outburst left him both exhausted and the car ride extremely quiet. It is moments like those Cas wishes he had asked to sit up front, so Sam could lay comfortably. "Talk to me.  _ Please _ ."

Dean looks at him, the bags under his eyes dark purple, sinking into his face. He looks like he's  _ lost _ weight since Cas has seen him. He hates thinking about why.

And yet- He's beautiful. As always.

Dean breathes a sigh, and then opens his bedroom door for Cas. "Fine."

When they're in, door closed behind Dean, the  _ longing _ Dean holds in him erupts and overflows Cas. It's always like that, when they are alone. A warm, bright sensation just beneath Cas' ribs. Where the love he holds for Dean is stored safely away.

“Cas you don’t gotta- gotta have one at me too, okay. I get it.” Dean says, quickly. He won’t look at him, scrambling around his bed to grab for something.

“I wasn’t going to.” Cas says, sharply. He doesn’t mean for it to come out like that, but he wants Dean to hear him. And there is no better way to have Dean hear him than anger.

He hates it.

Dean glances up at him. “Okay. So...?”

“We need you.” Cas says, sitting down in the desk chair. Dean watches him carefully. “Me. Jack. Sam. Your mom.”

Dean breathes shallowly, rubbing a hand at his eye.

Maybe- maybe Cas does want him to cry. To hurt. To allow Cas to wrap him in his arms and allow him to make him feel better- feel good. Allow Cas to show him he loves him, without ever saying it.

He then worries about his deal.

“We need you. And I know- I know you think you’re doing what’s best: being a martyr. But-“ Cas runs his hands down his pants legs. He gathers the strength to look Dean in the eye.

"You deserve to be saved. I- I believe in that."

Dean is silent for a long moment. His lips pursed in a trudging desire to not say anything at all.

Cas feels him longing.

"You've said that before." He says, quietly. He taps his fingers like he's playing chords on an air guitar. Cas knows those hands well- anxious and needing.

"What?" Cas furrows his brow.

"You said that- kinda that- to me before. You said 'I didn't think I deserved to be saved,' actually."

"Yes. I remember." Cas says, softly. He leans closer, on his knee. “... why?”

“I still don’t.”

Cas breathes in a stiff breath. Its like the cut of an angel blade- hearing that.

He’s... known. Of course he’s known. But having Dean give voice to it.

“Dean-“

“Cas I have never been anything other than a tool. A- a weapon. For- for fucks sake I was  _ created _ to be a weapon.” Dean’s voice breaks around that word. Weapon. “I don’t wanna hurt people. I don’t.”

Cas feels his heart breaking. Shattered at the altar of Dean Winchester.

And it will continue to be broken, he knows. God, does he know.

“You won’t.” Cas assures, reaching his hand out. He, tentatively, places it on Dean’s leg.

Dean has his head cradled in his hands, eyes on the floor.

“I have. Cas. All I’ve ever done is hurt people.”

“No.” Cas stands, a surge of feeling gets him to grab Dean’s shoulder. The one he marked. “Dean you have done- you’ve  _ saved the world _ and you’ve saved Jack and Sam and-“  _ you saved me.  _ Dean stares up at him, eyes tear filled and deep; beautiful; beautiful green. “And you’ve built a family. Who love you.” Cas’ heart contracts around that. “We need you. Here.”

Dean hangs his head, breath catching around a sob.

Cas stays where he is, hand gripping tightly to Dean.

“This is so hard, Cas.” Dean says, his voice taught and straining against emotion. A tear drops on the floor, before Dean goes to rub his face. “I hate doing this to you, and to Sam but- I can’t do this. I can't do  _ this _ -“ he gestures to his head. “And I can’t just- just let him out in the world.”

Cas just listens. Lets longing wash over him. He wishes Dean could feel his own, reaching out; demanding to be entangled in his.

It’s good he’s talking. It’s good.

“I- I can  _ feel _ him banging around in there. All the damn time. I can’t sleep without dreaming of him or- or the box and I can’t-“

Cas squats down, on the balls of his feet like he does with Jack when he’s scared after a nightmare.

Dean won’t look at him.

“I can- I can watch over you tonight. If you’d like.” He speaks softly, keeping the tears in his own eyes at bay.

Finally, Dean’s eyes: bloodshot and wary, meet Cas’ blue and longing ones.

Dean chuckles. “Purgatory.”

Cas quirks his eyebrow. “What about it?”

“You said that in Purgatory. And after.”

Cas blushes. Purgatory feels like lifetimes ago. It feels like a dream compared to this.

“Well,” Cas reaches out, and squeezes Dean’s shoulder before standing back up. Dean’s eyes follow him while he sits back in the desk chair. “The offer always stands. You need to rest.”

Dean laughs again at that, this time a sickeningly bittersweet one. He rubs both his eyes, and yawns as he pulls them away.

“Sure. Why the hell not.” Dean stands, hands fumbling to throw off his flannel.

Cas then realized exactly what he has gotten himself into.

Lord, give him strength.

Cas steps out, just for a moment, to let Dean change.

When Dean lets him back in, his hair is tousled and spiked. He’s in a comfortably worn t-shirt (Zeppelin, from a concert Dean never went to, but did find in a thrift store.) and flannel pyjama pants.

“Do you... need anything?” Dean asks. His voice is softer than usual, kinder.

Cas can tell he’s exhausted; emotionally and otherwise. He shakes his head, and shucks off both his trenchcoat and suit jacket.

“I’ll be fine.”

And then, Dean goes about his routine in silence. He fixes things about his room (moving a comic book and lore text from the foot of his bed, and throwing them in a basket in the corner. Picking up the water bottle from his nightstand and taking a sip. Adjusting his pillows so they’re stacked just right.) and lays down.

He reaches over to turn off the light, and then glares at Cas sitting on the desk chair.

“Okay. I am not gonna ever sleep if you sit there staring all night. C’mere.”

Cas holds his breath as he crossed the two feet from the desk chair to Dean’s  _ bed _ .

Dean moves over, laying on his side with his back facing the middle. So he can’t look at Cas.

Cas lowers himself into the bed- it  _ is _ surprisingly comfortable, and rests his head on Dean’s other pillow.

Dean turns the lamp off.

“G’night Cas.”

“Dream well, Dean.” Cas says, fondly, before Dean promptly passes out into restful sleep.

  
  



	3. Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean lets Cas sit up front, and Cas handles it just as well as you think he would.

Cas gets the front seat when it's just him and Dean. No questions asked. Dean drives the car with an (unsafe) hand on Castiel’s thigh or Cas’s hand on Dean’s. Except Cas finds his hand on Dean’s leg much more unsafe since Dean is ultimately going to get way too distracted by it: either overstimulated and needing to pull over to do something about that or under-stimulated by it and needing to play with, kiss or hold said hand.

But when Sam is there, Dean is different. And Cas knows that. And he’s fine with it.

Even after they are together in an official-unofficial way. Cas doesn’t quite know  _ what _ Sam was told, but Sam introduces him as Dean’s partner (“in a gay way”- assuredly) and on occasion (usually tipsy, but- Cas will take what Dean can give) will hold his hand or waist around Sam.

He knows that Sam and Dean have their rituals; their habits, and Cas would never fault someone for that. He enjoys his own just as much.

And with Eileen around, usually their situation in the impala is: Dean- driver, Sam- passenger, Eileen- driver’s backseat, Cas-passengers backseat. (Eileen has told him it is best for watching to be opposite the person you intend to watch. Cas has found this method works very well. And then he can talk with Eileen.)

Its late in the evening, after a successful (easy) hunt that left Cas feeling tired and Dean a little cut up. Dean did most of the heavy lifting, like always, but Cas had cut in and saved him at the last moment. He was quite proud.

“Regular prince charming.” Dean had joked, pressing his hand a quick kiss when Sam’s back was turned.

It made Cas blush.

They’re headed into the car, and Cas is about ready to take a nap in the back seat, trailing behind Sam and Dean’s celebratory chat just a little. As they reach Baby though, Dean puts his hand on Sam’s arm: meeting his eyes.

Sam looks at him, then glances quickly at Cas, and then chuckles.

“No problem, man.” He says, clapping Dean on the shoulder and opening  _ the back seat door. _

Cas stops, staring for a moment.

“Cas,” Dean says, gruff in the way he does when he’s intentionally hiding a lighter tone. “What’re you doing? Get in.” Dean slaps the passenger side door, and goes around to his own.

Cas, a little entranced, a lot in love; gets in the passenger seat.

Sam grins in the back.

Dean starts the car, turning his keys and hitting the gas and putting in a cassette tape, does everything he’s always done with his car and then puts his hand on Castiel’s thigh. And leaves it there while Zeppelin plays softly in the background.

Cas is elated: has anything ever been so simple and yet brought him this much joy?

It feels big- about as grand and important of a gesture as his Dean Winchester is possibly capable of. It feels heavenly; unique and hand crafted by the man he loves.

It feels like Dean loves him: like he loves him a lot.

“Put your seatbelt on.” Dean rolls his eyes, finding Sam’s in the rearview mirror.

“Don’t crash.” Sam retorts, sticking his tongue out at him. Cas smirks.

“He doesn’t have a great track record with that.” He quips. Dean squeezes his thigh.

“Hey!” Dean smiles, sheepishly finding Cas’s eyes. “I would never.”

“Yeah, well,” Sam rolls around, so he can lay with feet cramped against the window, in the back. “Keep your eyes on the road.”

Dean blushes, finally leaving Cas’s eyes and focusing on the road ahead.

They aren’t far from home, but Cas will sit and savor; devour the memory of this moment.

He takes Dean’s hand, and holds it against his leg. Dean rubs his thumb against the back of Cas’s hand. And that is everything.

It takes Dean a long time to say “I love you” when neither of them are dying or just back-from-the-dead. He doesn’t- he can’t, doesn’t have the facilities to be as open; as emotionally forthcoming as Cas can (shame- shame and repression, Cas will figure out in the years to come: keep Dean from being allowed himself). But  _ this- _ this declaration: this means as much as an “I love you” could ever mean.

  
  
  
  



	4. A Marriage Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas asking Sam for Dean’s hand in marriage 🖐😳
> 
> Hijinks in getting hitched... Cas and Dean love each other a lot and are very silly about it

**Sam**

"Hi. Sam.” Cas says, awkwardly and stilted, but he always kinda sounds like that, so Sam doesn’t think  _ that _ much of it. “I have a question.”

Sam looks up from his crossword- which Dean had just been by to make fun of him for- and smiles at Cas.

“Yeah, whats up buddy?”

Cas is blushing, looking down at his hands. He clears his throat a little.

“Can you promise me you won’t tell Dean.” He says, gravely serious.

Sam’s smile falls a little, biting his tongue inside his mouth. “Sure. Cas whats-“

And then, Cas opens the palm of his hand, and sitting in it is a ring.

It's thick, gold and pretty simple. It reminds Sam of the silver ring Dean used to wear- probably years ago at this point.

"I wanted to ask if it was okay for me to ask Dean to marry me?" Cas says, quiet and making side eyes. Like he isn't convinced Dean isn't secretly in the room.

Sam doesn't want to stare, but his brain is moving at about absolute turtle pace. "Holy shit, Cas-" he breathes in, still reeling at the absurdity, and at how genuinely sweet this is. "uh- yeah. Cas- you, you didn't have to ask me though-" 

“Isn’t it- customary? To ask a family member's permission to ask their hand in marriage?” Cas tilts his head. Sam grins at him. Cas is practically vibrating with anxiety.

“I guess in like… 1950, yeah.” Sam laughs. “and usually you ask the girls dad because they... well it was about like ownership of women but-”

"Yes, that one was not well thought through on heaven's part." Cas sighs, rubbing his face with the hand that isn't twirling the ring between his fingers. "But. I don’t plan on making a trip to hell any time soon,”

Sam bites back a laugh.

"And- well. You're his family. I would hope you would approve." Cas says, quietly. Like he's unsure.

Sam gawks at him. "Cas-" he grins. "Of course I do. Did you think-?"

Sam is then kinda struck at how much this must mean to Cas; after years of the two most oblivious people on the planet fumbling for years only to find themselves in something damn near functional. 'About as apple-pie as I’m ever gonna get' Dean had said.

Cas is asking Dean to marry him.

"God, Cas." Sam cracks a giant smile, beaming at the angel. "Of course I'm okay with it. I'm so happy for you guys."

Cas smiles at him, closing the ring in his palm, and slipping it back into his pocket. "Thank you, Sam. It means a lot."

Sam gets up to clap Cas on the back, and then holds his arm so he can look at him. "Do you know- when?" Sam asks, suddenly wanting all the info like they're gossiping.

Cas shakes his head. "No. I haven't thought that far ahead."

Sam nods, smirking. "Right. Well. Let me know if I can help."

"Hey, Sammy." Dean whispers, looking up at him from their piles of research. They're putting together  _ organized _ copies of the numerous notebooks and random research they've got, so they can find it when a hunter needs it. Dean isn't very good at it. "C'mere."

Sam furrows his brow, smiling a little. Cas just left to start dinner.

"Whats up?" Sam sits on the table, and Dean is running a hand up and down the back of his neck.

"I uh- I'm-" Dean laughs, rubbing his eye. "I'm gonna ask Cas to marry me. Just so you know."

Sam is not sure what his face does, but he is sure it doesn't inspire confidence in Dean.

"What?" Dean says, harsh and insecure.

Sam laughs, feeling his own cheeks heat up. Dean looks at him like he's insane.

_ "What?" _

"Nothing! Dean that's-" Sam is grinning like an idiot. Eileen's going to think this is fucking hilarious. "Thats awesome. I'm really happy for you."

Dean rolls his eyes, like he's glad the emotional moment is finally over. "Yeah well. Don't tell him, okay? I'm gonna ask him sometime next week."

Sometime next week pretty clearly translates to 'date night' in normal-people-emotionally-vulnerable English. Which is next Friday for them and Saturdays for Sam and Eileen. 

Sam's grin falls into something more along the lines of surprise. "Really? You've got a ring and-"

"And everything." Dean smiles, soft and child like. Like he's pretty damn proud of himself for  _ planning _ something for once in his life.

"Thats- wow." Sam pats Dean's shoulder. He feels like he's about to explode with information.

"You think- you think it's a good idea, right?" Dean looks at him, serious and insecure again. Sam throws his hands up.

"Of course, Dean."  _ Cover for Cas. _ "I'm just surprised, is all. I never thought you'd be the one to do it."

Dean rolls his eyes and gets up, heading toward the kitchen. "C'mon Sam. What am I- the girl in this?" He says, before getting out of 'whispering so Cas (an angel who can probably hear just about anything if he wants to) range.'

Sam just sighs, laughing a little to himself about how absurd those two can be.

* * *

**Cas**

Cas is nervous. To say the least.

The mutually planned date is one they do a lot; beers, fries, go outside and watch the stars and talk. Dean will usually bring their take out from whichever bar they get tipsy from and they’ll share.

He likes the cool breeze, sharing kisses with Dean on a blanket or the hood of the Impala. He likes watching the stars.

Often he thinks of home- of Heaven. When he looks up. More often than not he has to remind himself that his home- his true, and better- home is here. Next to him with a beer bottle pressed against his lips and hand on Cas’s thigh.

“Dean I-“ Cas begins, just as Dean begins: “Cas I wanna-“

They look at each other for a moment, usually much more in sync with each other, and wait for the other.

“What did you wanna say?” Dean asks, soft. His eyes are averting Cas’s, and his non-holding hand is in his jacket pocket.

Cas watches his face. “You go.”

Dean chuckles, pulling his hand away.

“No, no Cas I got something important to say so you-“

“I have something important to say too.” Cas says, like each word is being plucked from his mind and laid bare. Like he’s unsure he wants to be saying them.

Dean quirks an eyebrow at him, and then looks much more worried.

“Are you okay?” Dean leans in a little. Sharing a secret.

“Yes, Dean I-“ Cas fumbles, grabbing for the ring box in his pocket. “I have to ask you a question.”

“Shoot.” Dean says, but the uncertainty doesn’t fade from his gaze.

Cas  _ had _ something very profound to say, before Dean had gotten him flustered. “I love you.” Is all that comes out of it.

“Not a question.” Dean smirks, egging him on. “I love ya too.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “I mean to say,”

And then Dean pulls his hand from  _ his _ pocket, and takes out a box of his own.

Cas’s eyes widen.

“What-?” Cas whispers, his hand clenching around his ring box. “N-no.”

Dean looks at him, scared, eyes searching for Cas’s. “Cas...?”

In that moment, as Cas realizes how stupid both of them are, he’s frozen, presumably looking horrified.

“Cas I didn’t wanna-“

And then he laughs, throwing his head back, smiling up at the stars.

_ Of course. _

Dean is looking at him, dumbfounded, until Cas grabs his face and kisses him.

Dean obliges, shaky hands meeting Cas’s on his cheek.

Cas pulls away, grabbing the box from his pocket.

Dean, a small, bewildered smile on his face looks between them at their hands.

“You-?“

“And you were too.” Cas chuckles, kissing Dean’s jawline. Dean stares for a moment.

“Fucking-“ Dean laughs, running a hand through his hair. “Fucking christ! Cas!”

Dean shoves him playfully, and Cas has never felt more excited.

“I- I’m supposed to ask you!” Dean practically giggles, excitement brewing between them. The boxes stay unopened.

Cas quirks an eyebrow at him. “ _ You’re _ supposed to ask  _ me _ ?“

Dean looks at him like he’s purposefully being an idiot. “Of course! What am I- the girl?”

Cas smirks at that. “Well...” he lets the ‘Ls’ string along long enough for Dean to kiss him quiet. “I am a millenniums old genderless celestial being-“ Cas mumbles, grabbing Dean’s waist in an effort to pull him into a hug.

“You’re just a  _ guy _ .” Dean corrects, nipping Cas’s neck. Dean falls over onto Cas when they lose balance.

Dean, half laying on Cas’s chest, looks at him like he’s been star struck. Cas has a feeling he looks the same.

“So I’m taking this as a ‘yes’, then. Yeah?” Dean says.

Cas chuckles. “Ask me anyways.”

Dean huffs off him, and grabs for his box: its black velvet, and opens to smooth white satin.

“Castiel-'' Dean takes a glance at the ring. It's a thin, gold piece. Instead of a gem, there's a small etching of a flower. “Cas, will you marry me?”

Cas feels like he’s going to burst with excitement. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you Dean.” He says, between a choked breath.

Dean’s suddenly very teary eyed, as he takes the ring from the box, and caresses Cas’s hand. “I hope you like it. I saw it and thought of you. I know it's not much but-“

“I love it.” Cas says, leaning forward to kiss him. “I love you.”

Dean kisses back fiercely.

They stay like that for a moment; kissing, elation coursing through Cas’s veins before he remembers the ring he bought.

He pulls away, keeping his newly ringed hand against Dean’s cheek.

“Dean, will you marry me?”

Dean chuckles, ducking his eyes as Cas flips open the box.

“Of course, Cas. Of course.”

Cas holds Dean’s hand as he puts the ring on. It fits perfectly, and looks sturdy and masculine compared to the one of Cas’s hand. They look perfect together, in a mismatched way.

Kind of like them.


	5. Love Spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tropey love spell fic.... they are painfully repressed

All in all- it isn't an  _ unsuccessful _ hunt.

The guy or his wife don't die. The girl gets better and has to deal with the fact she tried to murder her "crushes" wife.

It's just-  _ Dean _ was then the one to take on the spell.

Incidentally, Cas was on that hunt with them. And he is the first person Dean sees as the love-binding spell begins to take effect.

“Well, the only way, in the lore, it's ever been broken is a true love's first kiss?” Sam groans, running a hand through his hair. “So you haven’t even met her? Or is it the first kiss after infection or?”

Dean puts his head in his hands, unable to look at Cas.

“Are you okay Dean?” Cas asks, softly. Dean’s eyes flicker up to his blue ones.

“Hmh. Headache.”

Cas’s face softens, but, as requested, he doesn’t move over to heal Dean. He doesn’t even come close to him. He's sitting halfway across the room like a hurt puppy.

This- Dean doesn’t want to say love despite that being the underlying emotion- is making him sick. Absolutely sick to his stomach. He’s pretty damn sure that isn’t what the girl that tried to kill her man’s wife was feeling. She was-  _ angry _ , selfish. Dean feels just like he's just been given a "stern talking to" by his father after looking at a boy the wrong way.

“Maybe it's different for everyone? Or you’ve just got it under-“

“Sammy.” Dean can’t bear to be in the same room as Cas anymore. “I'm gonna- take a nap. Call me if there's a breakthrough.”

Sam just nods, and then looks up at Castiel.

Dean, once he's out of hearing range of Sam and Cas, collapses in the hallway of the bunker. He feels like everything is closing in on him- like he's seventeen and  _ scared _ of himself again. Like his father is about to send him away for a reason he can't even discern.

Dean hasn't thought about that in  _ years _ . Not even when he started knowing he had very specifically non-platonic feelings for Cas.

But being  _ in love _ with Cas?

God. He's not sure he could take it.

Some 40 odd years of pushing that shit down- 12 years of holding himself back- decades of hating himself and never allowing himself to give voice to those feelings.

And some stupid witch dregs all that up for him.

He hears footsteps- distinctly Cas's 'trying too hard to be quiet' ones- coming down the hall. Dean's heart races, but feels like too heavy a weight to be able to pull himself off the ground.

"Dean?" Cas breathes in tightly. He stops a good ten feet away.

"Cas- Don't-"

Dean tucks his head against his knees, as Cas gets closer.

He sees Cas's coat crumple against the ground, and his knees brush against Dean's leg. "Dean."

"Cas I can't." He whispers, feeling tears pin prick at his eyes. He hates this. Hates he has to feel like this.

Cas clears his throat- which is seemingly angel for pretending to think of what he wants to say. "Let me heal you. Please." Cas pleads, but keeps his hands to himself. "I can't watch you like this."

Dean breaths in, shakily. He  _ can't _ . He knows exactly how he'll react if Cas touches him- he's holding himself back with all of his strength right now. "Cas I can't. You can't."

Castiel sighs, his breath shaking just as badly as Dean's. Dean can feel him sit so he's almost- almost shoulder to shoulder with him. "There's nothing wrong with you Dean. You know that?"

Dean's heart seizes. "I- Cas-"

"Dean. I know every part of you. I know what you-" Cas considers his words carefully. "What you think of yourself. About.... things like this."

Dean feels like he's going to explode with pent up emotion. He can barely listen to Cas.

"You are... you are not your fathers tool. You don't have to keep acting like he's around."

Dean tugs his knees closer to his chest. He keeps his eyes closed, but leans his head back against the cool wall.

"Cas, I don't think 40 years of- of internalized bullshit is gonna roll over and die just cause a spell jump started something." He says, soft. It hurts to say.

He  _ wants _ Cas so bad. More than anything.

And he's felt like that for a long, long time.

"I have all the time in the world for you, Dean." Cas whispers; a confession as he extends his hand carefully.

Dean looks at it, then at Cas, then at his feet, and closes his eyes again.

"I won't hurt you, Dean. I promise."

"I know that." Dean feels tears build up and fall. "I'll hurt you. I- I know I'll find a way to fuck this up-"

"I-" Cas groans, frustration filling his voice. "I can make a decision for myself, Dean. If you hurt me- which: I don't think you will- so be it. I want  _ you _ Dean."

Cas jerks his hand again, like he's shoving it forward: centimeters from touching.

"I've wanted you even when you've hurt me. I think I can handle it."

Dean holds his breath: it feels like his heart is ripping through his chest, begging to grab Cas. He feels absolutely sick with pain- like years and years of holding this back is finally taking its toll on his body. And then, there's Cas. Laying it all out for him.

Dean pulls one hand away from his knee, and then bites his lip.

"If we do this-" 

"Nothing bad is going to happen to us, Dean. Not everything is out to get you."

Dean lets out a long breath, and then, with a shaking hand, takes Cas's own in his.

The feeling is electric: like being electrocuted with a warmth Dean has never ever experienced before in his life. It- it feels angelic. Painfully knitting Dean's heart back into its rightful place and burning his skin.

The spell burns up in Dean, until he finds himself grabbing Cas's cheek: and kissing him.

Neither of them are exactly sure what happens: Dean kisses Cas, and then Dean feels his eyes are loose focus, and there's a very  _ very _ loud blast.

It must only last a second, but in that time Cas has grabbed Dean's shoulders and pulled him close- despite being the center of the disruption.

Cas holds Dean tightly, pressed against his chest, and protects him.

Once the noise dies, and the ringing in their ears dulls down, Dean grabs Castiel's face again.

Cas smiles, lightly. Looking a little scared, a lot in love.

In love with  _ him _ . Dean Winchester.

Dean kisses him again, and although it seems like the curse has run its course out of his system, he feels a similar fire blaze in his heart.

Sam comes running, rounding the corner, and catches them both in the kiss.

"So, uh-" Sam says, loud enough so Dean pulls away from Cas. Reluctantly. Cas keeps his arms, protectively, around Dean. Like a reminder he's still there for him. "We good?"

Dean laughs into Cas's chest. "I'm good."


	6. Something About Dean & Cas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary experiences the sheer painful domesticity of Dean and Cas when they're being best friends. 
> 
> Takes place kinda.... nebulously in season 12 but probably after they go to prison idk

"Oh. Hi Mary."

Mary stops in her tracks. Cas is sitting at the kitchen table; newspaper and coffee in front of him like a dad in a sitcom. He's not wearing his usual uniform; in soft sweatpants and a t-shirt. Like he'd spent the night, and slept.

She now comes to wonder where  _ she _ thought Cas went- he lives here with them. She'd just never considered he slept over. Or slept at all.

"Hiya Cas." She says, awkward. She steps down into the kitchen.

"I made coffee, if you want some." Cas says, cordially. "I'm still getting the hang of it."

Mary just nods, furrowing her brow when Cas can't see her.

She does get a cup, and- it's surprisingly strong. Dean likes his weaker- and he won't admit it but Mary's seen him pouring a tooth-aches amount of sugar in his cup in the morning.

Mary doesn’t mind, just nice to have something warm in her hands in the cold bunker.

She, tentatively, sits down across from Cas at the table.

“Find anything?” She asks, pointing at the paper. He glances up at her.

“Oh, uh-“ he chuckles a bit. “No. I wasn’t looking for cases.”

She gives him a polite smile. “Oh? What’cha reading?”

Cas averts his gaze, and looks sheepishly back at the paper. She thinks he needs glasses, he just looks like that sort of guy.

“Advice.” He shows her, flipping the page down. She hadn’t noticed the black and white photo of some older white lady whose the "Lebanon love guru."

“Dean thinks its silly- but. I enjoy it. Human problems with solutions.” He says that with reverence you’d only expect in a church- about Jesus or God- not about... lovers quarrels and job promotions.

“Is it... strange? Living with humans?” She wants to ask him what he thinks of  _ them _ ; how human  _ he _ feels and what its like to be an outsider. She doesn’t.

He smiles lightly. His hair is a mess above him. “Yes and no. Sam and Dean aren’t exactly normal.” They both laugh at that. “But, I’m sure I’d find it harder to fit into non-hunter spaces. Like,” he glances at his paper. “A business office. Or a rec center. I’m not-“ Cas picks his words thoughtfully. “I learned how to be human from  _ Dean _ , so I’m not exactly skilled at normal, human nuance.”

Mary studies him; hair pointing in every direction, eyes glassy and tired, out of his regular over coat and suit. He looks painfully normal.

She gets that stabbing question, sitting beneath her ribs. She wants to know who Cas is  _ to _ Sam and Dean. Not just their insistence he’s “family”; “like a brother.”

She doesn’t get them- and she’s not sure she ever will. Being “family” isn’t good enough, not to her. Her parents were family, but they were also there for her; her mother let her sneak out for dates, taught her everything she knew about fighting and men. Her father was stern, but always gave into her puppy dog eyes. John was a dreamer; wanted more than he could give her, and fought tooth and nail to scrounge up their life. He was always like that, for the most part.

Cas is a best friend, sure. But he is obviously more to both of them. Especially to Dean.

She and Cas do not have that history; and she just wants to understand it. 

“How did that- uh- happen?” She asks. Cas tilts his head. “You and- you learning from Dean.”

Cas looks at her, warily. “After I... fell, for Dean, he and Sam were truly the only thing I had left. I was cast away from my brothers and sisters in Heaven; ‘public enemy number one’- Dean called it.” He smiles at that memory. “I’d  _ been _ observing him for some time, but it was then I finally allowed myself to embrace... my humanity. I was no longer heaven’s soldier, and having humanity no longer meant I was failing myself.”

Cas looks at her like he’s in confession.

Mary gets the distinct feeling her question is being spoken around, rather than addressed, in that way Dean is masterful in. Cas is clumsier.

She waits for him to press on.

"Dean has saved me in ways I didn't even know possible." Is all he adds. He says it like it is something normal, but it makes Mary's skin crawl. Almost like he's trying to convince her of something.

They have something- Cas and Dean- that Mary does not understand. It is not like what she'd known with her best friends, or parents, or even John for that matter. Something she cannot put her finger on.

Cas gets up, seemingly finished with both his coffee and their conversation, and rinses out his mug. She hears footsteps coming down the hall.

It hits her, once he sees both Cas and Dean together. Cas is wearing Dean's clothes, and Dean's tired eyes are soft and familiar with Cas's.

"Morning Mom." Dean waves, rubbing his eyes. He skirts around Cas with comfort and ease.

"Morning," She smiles. She watches them carefully, eyes scanning above her mug to follow them dance around the kitchen together.

Cas passes Dean a mug, and Dean nods his thanks. He goes to pour himself some coffee, and takes a sip without adding anything. Cas looks at him expectantly.

Dean purses his lips, barely hiding his reaction to the bitterness. "Gettin' better."

Cas smiles. 

“You hungry?” Dean asks, glancing at Cas. He knows she's already been waiting for him, and Sam will be hungry when he comes back from his run.

“Sure.” Cas gives Dean the fondest of smiles. When he looks away, Dean’s eyes linger; following as he mills around the kitchen.

She wonders, briefly, if Cas is wearing Dean's clothes for a reason. If he doesn't have his own. But- what does an angel need comfy clothes for?

Dean makes breakfast in the quiet. Cas ends up getting another cup of coffee, and Mary thinks it's mostly so he has an excuse to stay and watch Dean cook. He makes omelets, quick and easy enough; but  _ Dean _ does it like he's serving a four course meal. He spends  _ time _ making it nice, he's quiet and precise- not unlike how he is on hunts, but much more relaxed. He doesn't carry tension in his shoulders, and Cas watches him; leaned against the counter, slowly sipping at a coffee.

Maybe she can chock it up to angel-weirdness. Sam said Cas has always had his quirks. But, the Cas she knows is human in an uncanny way.

_ He learned how to be human from Dean.  _ She reminds herself. _ No wonder he's a mess. _

Sam gets back from his run just in time for food to be ready. They all sit down and have a rare breakfast together.

Dean takes his seat with a yawn.

“So... late night?” Mary teases. At least- she tries. Dean gives her a spooked look. Sam glances between her and Cas, who she's sitting next too. Who's sitting across from Dean and practically holding hands with- with both their coffee's close and leaving their hands to linger.

“Ha- yeah.” Dean glances at Cas. “ _ somebody _ kept me up last night.”

“You were the one who asked to finish the season.” Cas says, with a smirk.

“I hadn’t planned on finishing it at 2 in the morning!”

Mary sometimes cannot believe either of them. She looks at Sam for- for  _ anything _ but he's tucked into his eggs like this is his every day.

“Besides, when have you ever slept more than four hours willingly.” Cas leans his head on his palm, and  _ stares _ . 

“I’m an old man Cas.” Dean chuckles, grinning back at him. “Need my beauty rest.”

Cas balks at him, deadpan. “I am older than you can conceptualise.”

Dean just rolls his eyes. “Good for you.  _ I’m _ 38 and need another coffee.”

Mary can almost imagine Dean to lean over and kiss Cas's cheek after saying that, but instead he just taps the table and gets up to make another cup.

"What were you watching?" Sam asks Cas.

Mary often feels left out of their dynamic. Like she's living in a boys club.

"The Bach-"

"Cas!" Dean whips around. "No."

Sam seems to already know the answer, and has a shit eating grin.

Dean stares back like he's going to kill all three of them. "It's Cas' show."

Sam raises his eyebrows. "Haha. I bet."

He looks to Mary, who has no clue what they're talking about. Dean looks past her to Cas, staring what can only be described as fond-daggers.

"The Bachelor or the Bachelorette?" Sam turns to Cas, who stares like a lost kitten. "It's important."

Sam gets knocked upside the head, and goes to punch Dean in the shoulder. Dean grabs Sam's arm and twists it, playful, but Mary still clears her throat. "Boys."

Sam and Dean both look at her like they're kids who got caught skipping class, and Dean drops Sam's arm.

Cas clears his throat. "It was the Bachelorette."

Dean rolls his head back in a groan, and gets up to dump the rest of his coffee down the drain. 


	7. Season 16: time for a wedding!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DeanCas wedding of 2021 has given me brain worms unIMAGINABLE   
> This isn't set in Chad Lindberg's heaven wedding universe- more so canon-verse with an alive Cas and a not-god Jack <3 
> 
> I have never been to a wedding so.... sorry if this is weird lol. I have only seen movies.

**JODY**

“Claire, hey-“ Jody says into Claire’s voice mail. She and Kaia have been off on a hunt the past few days, but they’ve called every night. “Just wanted to let you know we got some mail.” She says, a grin fighting its way onto her face. “Call Dean when you get a chance- they’ve got some news.”

She folds the invitation out on the counter. She thinks it’s sweet they bothered to mail it to them, but they’ve also gone about it in the least ceremonious way possible. The invite (printed on printer paper with very fun text) is addressed to 'Jody, Donna, and The Girls' with a Forever stamp and in a plain envelope, says:

_ ~Dean & Cas~ _

_ We're getting married! Dean says he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it but we're very excited to be getting married!! _

_ When: July 15th 3:00 pm - ? (The Bunker has enough rooms for everyone if need be for the night.) _

_ Where: The Bunker  _

_ We're calling it a 'hunter style' wedding (no more hunter funerals for a while.) Come ready to party, eat and have a good time. It's going to be small- family only. Can't wait to see you, hope there's no apocalypse the day of! _

_ P.S. Cas is being traditional about it all, but we are planning for it to be a party and just having fun. No big deal on dress code or any of that ‘real’ wedding crap.  _

_ Love, _

_ D & C _

Dean's attached a post-it note to the back, which reads:  _ 'I AM cooking but Donna, if you bring your famous deserts <3 also, there WILL be an open bar Jody. -D' _

She takes a picture to send to the family group chat. _ “Put it in your calendars, I’m telling Dean we’ll be there even if there is an apocalypse!’  _

Donna sneaks up behind her in the kitchen, wrapping an arm around her waist. “So, a ‘hunter wedding.’” Jody can practically feel the air quotes. She shifts so she’s in Donna’s arms. 

“I’m sure the reception’ll be a train wreck.” Jody chuckles. “10, 15 hunters all getting drunk and watching Dean and Cas get sloppy.”

“Cas is over the moon, I’m sure.” Donna gives her a big, dumb smile. She glances down at Jody’s chest. “Be nice, I’ll bet. Finally be married.”

Jody’s heart breaks a little, knowing what Donna is angling at. They just need the right time, is all. Jody’s had the ring for years now. 

“Big ol’ fuck you to his angel buddies, huh.” She gives Donna a quick smile too. 

“Maybe Cas’ family was invited. That’d be a hoot and a half.” Donna squeezes her butt, before walking over to the pantry.

* * *

**CLAIRE**

“You motherfucker,” Claire says into her phone as soon as Cas picks up. Cas makes a strangled noise on the other end. “Why'd I get stuck with the lame bachelor party.” 

On Cas’s end, it sounds like they are  _ in  _ a club. She is certain she hears Eileen yelling with laughter. Cas laughs. “Claire I’m not bringing you to a-”

“Tell Claire she’s missing out!” Sam yells through the speaker. 

Claire groans.  Dean’s _ “ _ _bachelor party”_ (if you can  _ even _ call it that) has been: hanging out with her  _ mom  _ in the Bunker, cooking for the wedding tomorrow, distracting Jack so Dean can actually cook instead of hover over Jack’s mis-creation of pasta. It is lame as fuck, and Alex got to go out with Cas’s party.  _ She’s _ his kinda-sorta daughter! What the fuck! 

She also doesn’t understand why  _ Cas and Sam _ are clubbing, and not Dean. Dean’s settled down, sure, but lately he’s practically a housewife. There's also no booze, which; she knows Dean is trying to be sober now, but it makes it an ass party. 

“How’s Dean?” Cas asks, voice suddenly soft and sweet over the banging music. Claire rolls her eyes. 

“He’s good.” She sighs. She glances down into the kitchen. “Working on the lasagna with Jody.” Cas makes a satisfied noise, and she hears whooping from his end. “Usually Bachelor parties don’t include babysitting the bride-to-be’s kid.” Claire says, quiet so Jack can’t overhear. 

Cas chuckles. “Thank you for taking care of him.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Having fun?”

Another yell, Donna’s whopping voice passing by Cas. “Very much.” Cas laughs again. “I’ll talk soon, we won’t be out all night.” 

“No, no- you better party hard, for my sake at least.” Claire rolls her eyes, and she can  _ feel  _ Cas’s stupid smile. 

“Goodnight Claire.”

“Yeah, goodnight. Remember to drink water.” 

Claire hangs up, and opens the door back up to what has been horribly dubbed the ‘kids room.’ 

Inside, Kaia is showing Jack how to draw the ‘S’ thing that grade schoolers think is a gang sign. Patience is doing a nice little watercolour, because she’s absolutely that lame. Krissy- whose around Alex’s age but much, much cooler- is also drawing, but she’s practicing sigils. She’s also just super cool. Claire’s a little intimidated by her and her motorcycle. 

“What did Cas say?” Jack beams up at her, holding his pencil like a kindergartener. She guesses he should actually  _ be  _ a kindergartener- but. Still. 

“Said he’s partying hard and having  _ way  _ more fun than us.” Claire groans, sitting down inside the kid sized table. Why Cas bought his teenage sized son a three year old sized table and chairs Claire will never, ever know, but… Kaia does look pretty cute hanging out with Jack. 

It’s nice, lately. Like having a family again; they make sure to come down to Kansas more often, and Dean, Cas and Jack are up in Sioux Falls at least once a month. It's weird being almost 25, and feeling like she needs family dinner more than anything. Catching up on lost time, she guesses. 

“This is fun!” Jack protests, narrowing his eyes at her. Kaia gives her a quick smile. 

“Sure it is, Jack.” Krissy rolls her eyes. 

Jack looks at her like he can only sort of tell she’s being sarcastic. “If you guys don’t want to keep drawing, we could play a game?” Jack gives all of them big doe eyes. Claire goes to sit by Kaia’s legs. She worms a hand into Claire’s hair. 

“What kinda game are you thinking, Jack?” Patience looks up from her watercolour ass-terpiece. Jack bounces up to the cabinet. 

“We have Riverdale Clue, and Monopoly, and Sorry and Connect Four and-” 

“How about fuck, marry, kill?” Krissy smirks, looking up from her drawing pad. 

Patience makes horrified eyes at her, just before Jack chimes in with a resounding: “Sure! How do you play?” 

Kaia giggles. “I don’t think your dad would want you to play, Jack.” She says.

“Oh c’mon, let the kid live a little.” Krissy gets up from her corner. She sits on the floor by Jack, for emphasis. “You play by listing out three people- they can be celebrities or characters or people you know, and then you have to decide if you’d-“ Krissy holds out three fingers. “Fuck them, Marry them, or Kill them.”

“I wouldn’t want to kill anyone if they didn’t do anything wrong?” Jack furrows his brow.

“It's just a game- if you  _ had  _ too.” Kaia chimes in. Claire gives her a grin. Patience is looking at the both of them like they’re corrupting the kid. He’s got Lucifer for a bio dad- He’ll be okay with one round of Fuck Marry Kill. 

“Okay! Krissy you go first!” Jack leans back on his hands, and waits for her to target. 

“Alright Jack: Veronica, Jughead and Archie.” Krissy grins, and Jack looks at them all like she just asked him what the meaning of life is. 

Claire doesn’t want to laugh, but she does bury her face into Kaia’s shoulder. 

“Kill Veronica.” Jack says, very resolutely. “Eff Jughead, and I’d marry Archie.” 

Krissy gives him a sweet laugh, clapping him on the back. “Okay bud, now you pick someone to go.” 

“Patience, your turn!” 

“Alright, uh.” She grins. “Claire: Kaia, Gillian Anderson, and Jack.”

Claire rolls her eyes. “You suck. Marry Kaia, fuck Gillian Anderson, and- sorry Jack.”

“You’d kill me?” Jack looks at her,  _ way  _ too sad way too quickly.

“Sorry Kiddo, but I am not missing an opportunity to-“

Kaia jabs her in the side. “He’s seven.” 

“Jack you know what sex  _ is?  _ Right?” Krissy grins, eyeing Kaia and Patience. 

“Of course I do! Cas explained it to me.”

“Really? What’d he say?” Krissy presses on.

_ Oh. So she’s a  _ badass _ badass.  _ Not even Claire would pick-on Cas’s little angel baby on like this. Jack can do no wrong and is spoiled to all hell. Claire is sure he would hunt Krissy for sport if he found out about this. 

“He said that when two people like each other, or sometimes when they don't. I don’t understand that. But- a penis will enlarge and a vagina will-“

“Ooookay!” Patience gets up, clapping her hands a couple times. Kaia laughs, and Jack just turns his attention to her. “We are not ruining him!” She glares at Krissy. “Jack- let's play Sorry! That’s a game you guys can’t ruin!” 

That is how Claire gets stuck playing board games with an overgrown kindergartener. At least she’s on a team with Kaia. 

Heading to bed, after Cas gets home to tuck Jack in, and Dean looks half dead from standing over the stove all night, Claire finds Krissy hanging out in the war room.

Krissy’s kind of the odd one out, but Claire likes her. She’s obviously got something going on with her- if she knows Dean. Outside of being snarky, she’s pretty quiet. She mostly stuck to Dean’s side in the kitchen before Jody kicked them all out to play house with Jack. 

“Night, Krissy. Thanks for trying to have a little fun.” Claire chuckles, tapping the war room table. 

Krissy laughs. “If I gotta be the big cousin, I  _ get  _ to be the bad influence on the kid.” 

“I guess that makes me just the gay cousin, if  _ you're  _ also the bad influence.” Claire chuckles. 

Krissy nods, squaring up Claire. “I like you. You're less of a tool than Dean cut you out to be.” 

“Ugh. C’mon- he knows I’m way cooler than him.”

Krissy laughs at that. “He’s got a pretty horrible gauge for it.”

“Yeah, well. Wedding of the two biggest tools tomorrow. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

  
  


* * *

**GABRIEL**

_ Now, I know what your thinkin’ ‘Oh Gabriel, how can YOU be here at your best baby brothers wedding- didn’t you die? In another dimension? Which was snuffed out by Dad?’ Which- yes, all that happened. And I am not exactly  _ at  _ Cassie’s wedding, more like, a close approximation of “at the wedding” via celestial intent. “But, Gabe! How are you even alive” Oh, darling. A girl’s gotta have her secrets.  _

_ The important part is-- it’s baby-bro Cas’s big day. Couldn’t miss it for the world. Plus- the kid doesn’t have anyone to sit on his side of the aisle.  _

_ What I didn’t know is that the kid went native: totally human. Took me a good couple days (angelic hours) to track him down since hubby’s got him all marked up with Enochian just in case. Figures, those two were always into branding. But that kid of theirs- he is like a beacon of big bright angelic light, once you know how to pin it down. I didn’t think he’d be so much like Cas, but: like father like son they say.  _

_ Oh- Catch ya’ later kiddo, but I hear wedding bells.  _

* * *

**DEAN**

Dean looks out over the crowd of his family, and feels the absences more acutely than anything. 

He knew, and he told Cas; he’d be a mess today. He’s old, and he’s feeling more and more like he lives exclusively in chick flick moments. He finds out he doesn’t really mind. 

There are chairs left empty on purpose; which he’s pretty sure is Sam’s unspoken doing. One for their mom, for  _ their  _ Bobby and another for  _ their _ Charlie. One time, a long time ago, he’d promised to be Charlie’s best man at her Dungeons and Dragons (or Harry Potter, or ‘ _ whatever her girl was into most’) _ themed wedding when she met the right girl. He hopes she knows he would have asked her to be his, too, if he’d had it in him. 

There are too many people to have every chair saved, that he thinks about too. Dean imagines what it would be like to have Rowena and Crolwey; and he’s absolutely sure Rowena would have insisted she get them some expensive venue, and he’s sure Crowley would absolutely say something that gets Cas to draw a devil’s trap into the grass. He thinks Kevin would mope around way too dressed up because Linda made him, and Linda would give them something absolutely insane and fitting. He misses Benny like an ache in his side that never goes away, and wonders what he would have insisted on cooking. He’s pretty damn sure Ellen and Jo would have given him shit for the shitty set up, but he knows he’d catch Ellen laughing into a whiskey with Bobby, and Jo teaching Claire how best to get exactly what she wants from Dean. And god- if  _ Ash  _ came to party: he’s pretty sure the wedding would end in the FBI on their ass once again. 

He knows  _ his  _ Bobby would have given him a long hug, a strong pat on the back and look away before he started crying. He knows his mom would be proud, and she’d sit up front for her boys. 

Dean’s done more than his fair share of crying these last few years for all of them. 

The actual guests- about a smattering of 25 hunters from the alternate universe and hunters from their world; including Jody and her girls, and Garth and his family- are finding their seats and helping bring out trays of food. It was a long night, and an even longer morning making sure everything was perfect. Jack- across the field, is reaching around himself trying to straighten out the back of his suspenders, he gets up to help the poor kid. (Even though Claire, Krissy, Alex, Patience and Kaia are also over there, watching rather than helping.) 

“How’s the flower girl doing?” Dean chuckles, reaching over to Jack to straighten out the straps in the back. He insisted on dressing up himself, which means he is in slacks, but also he’s in a pink dress shirt and suspenders. Claire bought it with him. 

“Good! I’m excited!” Jack bounces on his heels, and he beams at Dean over his shoulder. “Cas is excited too.” 

Dean rolls his eyes, and pats his shoulder. “Woof, good I was worried.” 

Jack just gives him a bright smile, and skips off to bother Claire again. Dean’s nervous, 

The actual  _ wedding  _ part of the wedding starts and sweeps Dean off his feet- things are moving faster than he can comprehend; he wants to remember every second of Cas walking down the aisle- in his stupid trenchcoat and new, nicer suit. He looks like the vision of the first time Dean met him, except for the exploding lights and unblinking stare. This time, Dean’s crying. Jack throws petals after Cas too- which is also very different, and pretty cute. Sam gives everyone an unnecessary welcome, and then Dean knows he’s supposed to talk, and the words are getting caught in his throat. 

“Cas I’m-” Dean runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not...  _ great _ with words. ‘Specially in front of a ton of people.” 

The group gives him a sympathetic laugh. 

“But, uh. I am so,  _ so _ fucking greatful I get to have you. After everything, and everyone,” Dean’s voice betrays him, and cracks just a little. “I get to choose you.” 

Cas smiles, and glances at his feet. Dean follows, and his eyes trail back up to him. Feels steady in them. “So: thank you. For everything; for saving me, for- for loving me. I don’t deserve it. But, thank you, baby. I love you.” 

Cas makes his sickeningly sweet-sad smile. Tears in his eyes, he says: “I love you too, Dean.” 

Cas takes a breath in, breath out, and gives Dean his most radiant smile. “Dean: I have killed and- and died for you; and I would not trade any second of that if it meant it would not lead me to this day.” He says, softly. The moment suddenly zeros in for Dean; it is just the two of them, no one else matters- just for a moment. “You- you made me the person I have become. You taught me the breath of humanity and love, and did so selflessly.”

The words echo, and Dean tries not to remember that day; the deal and the depth of loss he didn’t think was possible for anyone to feel. But Cas’ eyes are bright, and human and stare up at him, and he is back. 

“You taught me free will, and defiance. I believe today, hopefully, bears the fruit of that first disobedience. I love you more than there are words for. And I love you not because of god or a cupid or- or anything, but because you are you. And I get to wake up and choose you every morning.” 

Cas pulls out the rings. This was Dean’s idea; they don’t need a priest or officiant or anyone to make this real for them. But- Dean does need Cas. And that is more than enough. 

“I am so happy to call you my husband.” Cas slips Dean’s ring on, caressing his hand carefully. Dean returns the gesture, holding Cas’s hands gently in his own for just a moment: to savour the moment. 

“I guess good things  _ really _ do happen.” 

Cas’ eyes light up, at that; a private, little reference for the two of the- before leaning in to kiss Dean. Their kiss- the one for show, and for tradition- happens quickly and chaste. No hands gripping at hair or  _ other  _ places. Just clasped together over matching rings. 

The kiss they share directly  _ after;  _ after everyone’s attention is on eachother and the celebration- now that is one for the record books. 

“Wow, you really brought your A-game in chick flick moments, Cas.” Sam smiles, just before Dean drags Cas away. Even though he’s ribbing, Sam’s smiling through tears. 

* * *

**SAM**

Dean hadn’t exactly asked Sam if he was going to be his ‘best man.’ He  _ had _ explicitly asked him not to write a completely embarrassing speech. What does happen is Dean  _ told him _ he was his best man and “if you say anything stupid I will drug you and cut your hair off while you sleep.” 

Sam intends to say everything stupid and sleep with new locks on his door. 

Eileen taps on her glass as he stands up, but the rest of the long table already has eyes on him. Everyone’s been seated for at least fifteen minutes- which mean’s Dean, at the head of the table, is done eating his first plate; Cas, beside Dean and Jack, is two glasses of wine in; and Jody is harganging Alex and Claire out of an argument. Sam looks down at his family, before he clears his throat; Eileen at his side, Miracle begging for scraps and Garth spoon feeding his kids. “I think I’m supposed to give a speech,” Sam grins, shooting a look to Cas. 

Dean puts his head in his hands. 

“A. everyone knows I love you Dean: you’re the best and worst big brother anyone could ask for, and I’m so glad you finally got your shit together enough to get here. B. Cas; you’ve always been family, but I am so excited to be able to actually call you my brother-in-law.” Sam is a little tipsy already, and he’s bubbling with excitement from the day. “I am lucky to be able to call both of you family, and I love you guys a lot.”

Eileen smiles at him to keep going. People are drinking, nibbling at food. Cas leans over to give Dean a kiss and Jack gives him a little too enthusiastic thumbs up. “But- uh, I’m gonna keep this short. Not cause I don’t have anything to say, but I am a little worried Dean might kill me if I tell stories from their twelve years of pining.” 

Dean rolls his eyes, and leans into Cas’ arms. He’s sober- which, Sam has been told by Cas that “we’re not addressing” and that “Dean is doing well at it- but didn’t want anyone to notice at their wedding.” Sam hasn’t talked to him about it, but he is proud. 

“I am so damn proud of both of you.” Sam smiles, raising his glass toward them. “You both have gone through a lot of crap- but; you’ve found each other, and you’ve built a little life for yourselves- in spite of  _ everything _ . Literally.” 

“So, I am so glad you both have stopped the decade and a half worth of eye-fucking, personal space issues and sacrifing yourselves for eachother and got here today.” Sam’s actually starting to feel a little choked up, thinking about the last two decades. “So, uh, congrats, guys. I love you both.” 

Sam gets a way-too loud round of applause from everyone, including Dean who's looking both annoyed and teary. There's been enough crying today. It's a happy day. 

Eileen grabs his hand, smiling wide at him. She kisses his cheek.    
“We are never having a wedding.” She signs, breathing deeply next to him. She looks just as tired as he feels. 

“I’m glad you agree. This is exhausting.” He signs. 

Eileen chuckles, and runs her hand into his hair. 

* * *

**JACK**

This is the part Jack is most excited about for the wedding: he’s seen movies- he knows that the dance party at the end is The Best part of the entire wedding. He has been telling Claire how excited he is the ENTIRE week, AND Cas let him pick out some songs for the playlist. 

He knows, first, the bride and groom have to dance, then the dad dances with the bride and the mom dances with the groom, then everyone dances for a while. Dean says everyone gets drunk after everyone is dancing, and people ‘hook up’ and have sex after. There  _ is _ a karaoke machine at this wedding, which Jack has only seen in Mama Mia in a movie about a wedding, but he is very excited to sing Lizzo with Cas. He hopes Claire will agree to a Frozen duet too. 

He’s not quite sure who the bride and groom are with his Dads. He kind of thinks Dean is the bride, but he is pretty sure Dean would be offended by that, so he has only voiced this to Cas. 

Claire is sitting next to him when the music gets turned up all the way, and Jack  _ knows  _ it’s Dean and Cas’ time to dance. In the movies; it's usually very romantic- the camera sweeps around the bride’s dress and the groom kisses her and dumps her over at the end. He does not think that's a good idea for Cas to dump Dean over. 

Cas and Dean walk out holding hands into the middle of the tent- in the field they spent an  _ entire _ week clearing out for the wedding. It’s dark now, so the area is lit with lanterns, candles and fairy lights. Jack strung them up all by himself! 

It is kinda like the movies: Cas picked this song, but he knows Dean likes it. Their hands meet in the middle, and Dean holds Cas around the waist.

They’re swaying and smiling, and he overhears Claire and Jody whispering about how happy they look.

And they do- Cas has his head resting on Dean’s chest: a fond smile on his face, and his eyes closed. Dean leans forward and kisses the top of Cas’s head. 

They look  _ just  _ like the movies; happy and in love. Jack could not be happier. 

“I can’t believe you talked me into this song.” Dean whispers. Jack can only hear because he  _ is _ still a celestial being. 

“Dean. It’s literally about us.” Cas looks up at him. “And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to mess this up.” Cas hums along, making his point with lyrics. 

Dean grins at him. “Yeah, yeah. And you didn’t want to dance to Zeppelin.” 

“Zeppelin comes later. There's a science to playlists.” 

Dean just rolls his eyes, and turns Cas around out of time with the music. 

“And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town.” Cas raises his head, swaying Dean a little harder. “That's you.” 

“Mhm, yeah. Cause  _ I’m  _ the one getting hit on in diners every time we go out.” Dean says. Cas just shakes his head, leaning into Dean.

“Now you hang from my lips; like the Gardens of Babylon. With your boots beneath my bed. Forever is the sweetest con.”

Cas kisses Dean over the last chorus. 

Their dance comes to a sweet close soon after, with everyone clapping for Dean and Cas, and Dean looking embarrassed. They walk over toward Jack and Claire, and Jack shoots her a look.

“C’mon, can I have this dance, kiddo?” Dean puts his hand out for Claire. She takes it; giving him big rolled eyes. Cas is looking at Jack, his hand still extended. 

“What is this dance about?” Jack asks, grabbing Cas’s hand. 

Cas smiles at him. “You remember how they have dances with the father and the bride?”

“Yeah! Sam says that's outdated and sexist though.”

Cas chuckles. “He’s right. But-“ He glances over at Dean and Claire, who Dean is spinning around like she’s a ballerina, and Claire is laughing; loud and sincere. “Since you’re my only family outside of Claire and Sam; I thought it would be nice to have a father-son dance.” 

Jack beams up at Cas. “Yeah, I think it is nice.” 

_ Their  _ song is a lot more upbeat than Cowboy Like Me. So Cas can twirl him around and Claire and Dean can make funny faces at them. Kaia and Jody holler at Claire and Dean, heckling them for their “great moves.” Sam smiles at them from afar, his arm around Eileen. Cas beams at him. 

Sometimes, Jack realizes how great his life is. This is one of those moments; where his dad is spinning him under his arm, Carly Rae Jepsen belts over the stereo and his ‘cousins’ are laughing and happy along with him. He’s got his dads; Eileen; Claire and Kaia; Krissy, Alex and Patience; Jody and Donna; Garth and Bess and his baby ‘cousins.’ He’s got more family than most kids he knows. He thinks it's a very human thing- to have a family he’s found and helped create. It’s a wonderful, human thing.

Jack has a family; a family who loves him for who he is, and he couldn’t be happier. 

  
  


* * *

**CAS**

Everyone’s gone to bed. Jack’s cried and given him more hugs than usual for bed. He’d helped Bess put Gertie and the twins down for bed in the ‘kids’ room. Found Claire in the kitchen making herself a left-over sandwich and sent her back to Kaia after quiet hugs. Tried to help Sam finish cleaning up, but he’d pushed him away insisting it was  _ “his wedding night, go home.”  _

And, all in all, Cas is walking back to the garage, happiness settling in his chest and leaving him antsy and full of butterflies. 

He pushes open the door, and  _ there is Dean.  _

“Hey,” Dean gives him a sweet smile, cheeks red. “Cas Winchester.” 

Dean is leaning against Baby, his eyes lazily following as Cas presses closer. Dean turns to meet him in the hug, noses pressed close. “I like that.”

“Hmm?” Dean hums, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Yeah, me too.” 

“Cas Winchester,” Cas repeats, feelings the name roll off his tongue, and it settles over his shoulders like a blanket. Dean’s arms rest against his hips. 

“That is your name, isn’t it?” Dean kisses him again, his hands tracing over Cas’s hips and thighs. 

Cas lets himself fall forward into Dean’s chest, and Dean’s arms envelope him. 

_ His name.  _ Cas thinks, feeling butterflies in his chest again. 

“You know, I have never been given a name of my own before.” Cas says, into Dean’s chest. “I wasn’t named by god. I came into existence with a purpose that my name dictated. It was just as much an order as everything else I was.” 

Dean’s breath hitches, and his hands run up to Cas’s hair. “Sammy told me once that the -tiel means ‘of god,’ so when I called you Cas...” his voice trails off, hand running up and down the back of his neck. 

“Do you know what ‘Cas’ means in Latin?” Cas tilts his chin up, finding Dean’s green eyes hidden behind long lashes. Dean shakes his head. “To fall.” 

Dean smirks, hiding his smile. “Thats rich.” 

“To fall from God.” Cas presses a kiss against Dean’s collar. “To fall  _ for _ a Winchester.” 

Dean practically giggles, grabbing Cas around the waist before opening the back seat door for him. “Sure do make a guy feel important.” 

Cas falls into the back seat with Dean, who is not really paying attention to anything other than the fact they are alone and Cas’s tie is undone around his shoulders. 

“Do you wanna…” Dean quirks an eyebrow up, grinning. 

Cas shifts, so he’s above Dean in the back seat, pressing his hips down onto Dean’s. “Of course.”

And, yes, Cas becomes aware they are consummating their marriage in the back of Dean’s car. He can’t think of anywhere more fitting. 

They drive home, afterwards, and fall asleep kissing each other's hands; and Cas feels more happy than he has ever known. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed! I hope it wasn't too sad, and had a good mix <3 I wanted to write a canon-ish wedding   
> <3 <3 <3


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